dougefresh

Haha! Oh man-- I'm sorry, yo! That's some cold-blooded shiz.... MAN-- THAT SUCKS, SMITTY! But don't worry, my brutha, for here is a delicious piece of apple pie. Sit down. Take a load off. Pie's gonna make everything alright. You tell Mr. Pie all about it...

I saw Star Wars when I was 4 years old, and I kid you not, I walked out of the theatre knowing every character's name, and reciting lengthy chunks of dialogue verbatim. My parents wigged out. They used to have me play show pony for their friends at parties and soccer games, having me rattle off all the exchanges between Han and Luke, giving quotes from Darth Vader, etc. Apparently, having a skinny, 50-pound 4-year-old tell you that their Big Wheel can make the Kessel run in less than twelve parsecs was pretty entertaining to adults. From there, my obsession just snowballed. I collected the toys, saw all the movies a million times, and spent countless hours and hours playing Star Wars with my friends... probably just like a lot of you guys. I distinctly remember having heated, drawn-out debates with my buddies at school about how much cooler I thought the Stromtroopers were than all the regular favorites; Boba Fett, Chewbacca, et al. I'd get genuinely fired about it. I remember being absolutely furious on many ocassions; burning with fervant, blinding, little-kid indignation every time some smart=a$$ busted out, "Oh yeah? Well if they're so awesome, wiseguy, how come they die so easy?" Man, that one always burned me. (And still does a little, to tell you the truth. ) Anyway, when it came time to pick toys, I jumped for the stormtrooper every time. (Okay-- maybe a Biker Scout every once in awhile, but don't tell anybody. ) When I got a little older, I really started getting into art, and the TK allure just got that much stronger. I used to drive my Mom nuts everytime we went to the Mall. I would ditch her and my sister and go hide in B. Dalton bookstore for hours, ducking behind the bookcases to look at Ralph McQuarrie's TK drawings while they went into conniptions looking for me. Something about his paintings and drawings really resonated with me in general, but the image of the TK hit home extra hard. I can't explain it, but from the moment they breached the Tantive IV, the icon was seered into my brain. And to this day, I argue that the Stormtrooper and Vader are certainly the two most powerful pieces of Design EVER in cinema. More than Kubrick's 2001, more than Bela Lugosi as Dracula, more than Lon Chaney as Frakenstein, whatever. I'd argue that the influence on pop-culture made by Star Wars is on par with anything in the last 50-years-- Warhol, The Beatles, you name it. And I'm completely genuine in that belief. I mean, just about everyone I know in my generation can identify the lightsaber or Darth Vader by sound *alone*. That's insane! Maybe it's superficial, or ridiculous, but that kind of mass cultural recognition is a pretty profound phenomenon. And maybe it's cheesy, and makes me a total wacko, but that's the only word I can use to describe what Star Wars meant to me; it had a *profound* influence on just about my entire childhood, if for no other other reason than the hours and hours of sheer joy I had pretending I was a Trooper, or Han Solo, or Luke. As lame as it may be to cite a movie as a life-shaping experience, I really do feel that way, if I'm honest with myself. I think Star Wars inspired me to be creative. Which in turn, inspired me to play in a band for 10 years. Which later inspired me to get my degree in English Writing, which later inspired me to switch gears and start a career in graphic design. Which ultimately put a little money in my pocket.... And this Halloween, the company I work for co-sponsored a charity costume party for Make-A-Wish. And the theme was "Hooray for Hollywood", and we had to pick a movie to dress up as. Without thinking, all 13 of us yelled, "Star Wars!" And just like when I was little, I scrambled to blurt out, "I get to be a Stormtrooper" before anyone else. I'm 32 years old now, and it shocked me to hear myself being that excited about it. I just had to laugh. Nothing had changed. Nothin'! I got an FX kit off eBay, and when the parcel showed up at my house, and I saw that helmet in the box, I got the same thrill that I did when I was 4 years old. It was an absolutely hilarious, surreal, embarrassing, wonderful experience. Here I was, a supposedly grown man, completely FREAKING OUT that I finally had a chance to do something I've wanted to do ever since I was a little kid. I dunno... I just thought it was so cool that no matter how old I've gotten, and how jaded, cynical, whatever-- that I was still capable of that kind of crazy, innocent, completely un-self-aware joy. Just for a minute, I got to be that goofy little kid in the theatre, bouncing up and down, going ape-sh*t about a bunch of white plastic. Sorry for being so overwrought and long-winded about it.... the moment just got away from me, I guess. Which I suppose, is kind of the point.

Here's what I posted on the Moutain Garrison forum when someone created a topic about the same toys: "Just my $.02, but nothing will be as cool as the original TK armor. The colors look good on the clones, but when you start messing with the OG stormtroopers, I think it looks goofy. The fact that the TK's are so austere and expressionless is what makes them so cool. They're supposed to be nameless, faceless killers. I dunno... to me, the uniformity of purpose and design is all part of the mystique. To me, that's what made the Empire so believeably scary -- the inhumanity and homogeny. Maybe I'm a little too Orwellian and conspiratorial, but that's why the Empire was so frightening to me-- the fact that is was like Nazi Germany, or any other fanatical, dogmatic regime: it crushed individualism and valued only blind obedience. Uncle George may write some cheesy dialogue, and he directs actors like my a$$ chews gum-- but the guy knew how to tap into history and mythos, that's for sure. Don't slap me for saying this-- but when I was a little kid, part of the reason I rooted for the (*cough*) rebels was because they stuck up for the little guy, and championed individualism. But the Empire had bitchin' gear and cooler helmets-- so I always wanted to play with their toys more. I was a shallow little punk. "

Normally, I would say that this sounds like a trip to the Emergency Room waiting to happen, but after seeing all of Johnny's tutorials, I believe he's the one guy that can pull it off.

It always amazes me how great the TE2 helmets look, even before finishing. You're a lucky dude, Smitty. Looks great!

Mahalo nui loa! Gotta' love the idea of shaking down Santa. "Alright-- out of the sled, fruitcake!" Last Friday, at our company Christmas party, they had a guy dressed as Santa. I just stared at him, giving him the stink-eye for about five minutes. When he finally looked over, I just scowled at him, "Millenium Falcon. 1983." "You made a *promise*, pal." "You totally screwed me." "Oh, I'm on to you, buddy." "I'm tellin' the world" He got a kick out of it.

Sah-weet!

Thanks, Dave! (Who is the official board Santa, by the way) Right back at ya', buddy!

Oooooh -- I forgot about Morphine! Good one! I love that band!

I realize I'm a little late on this one, but I thought I should mention it. I was hanging out with a couple of my Garrison-mates last weekend-- one of whom produces some very nice TB armor and knows quite a bit about ABS -- and was warned that prolonged or intense use of a Magic Eraser will remove the gloss from the plastic. Apparently, there's something chemically reactive in the sponge that, over time, will leave dull spots on ABS if applied often/hard enough.

The online games are dangerously fun... but I always feel secretly ashamed, knowing that I'm probably getting my a$$ kicked by some 12-yr-old in Thailand.

I really tried to resist replying to that one, Graeme. I tend to agree with you. I'm from Alberta, so maybe it's a Canadian thing. I'm a HUGE proponent of individual rights, but the statistics don't lie. More guns = more shootings. Not saying' it's right, not sayin' it's wrong. Just saying it's so. I'm always open to hear people's views on the morality and ethics of gun ownership, but the raw numbers are pretty tough to dispute. All that aside-- I think we should all be careful when toting around realistic weapon-props. I'd hate to see any of us get hurt.

That's the one I was referring to. I have no idea if that's the "official" new FX helmet, though. It could just be something supplied by one particular seller. Either way, it's just goofy lookin'.

It all stems from an eBay listing from England... The seller was hocking what he purported to be FX armor, with a helmet that was clearly not the original FX/GT sculpt. It looked like some errant stormy had participated in some unholy cross-species lovin' with a Beluga whale, or something. It had a big, bulbous, oversized forehead-- hence Guns' wife's "neandertal" comment. If it was a re-cast, it was one for the books-- because that thing's no where even *close* to an ANH helmet. Now it looks as though the same seller has replaced it with a "genuine" re-cast... still crappy, but this one actually resembles it's originator. Just do a search for "Stormtrooper" in eBay and order the price highest to lowest. You'll see what we're talkin' about it. Can you say "overpriced"?

Hahaha... Nice to see that Yahoo Serious has revived his career. In truth, I think about 80% of the stuff YouTube stands as a testimonial to what a person can accomplish by huffing a can of spray-paint and then picking up a camera. Which is no way a complaint, or a slam-- I think it's AWESOME that sites like YouTube have made it so easy for people to disseminate their art/creativity/weirdness/total-lack-of-talent. It's democracy as it's most messy, embarrasing, laughable, ingenious, brilliant best!

Thanks for sharing such a comprehensive tutorial, Mike! Like everyone else, I have to tell you that your work is phenomenal! I think you've definitely given a lot of folks a ton of inspiration for their own helmet projects. Great job all the way around!

Don't get me wrong, Paul-- I love a Doc Brown reference as much as the next guy, but ya' might wanna post it in the right thread. The banana-fueled car is in the thread about the rubber gloves, buddy.

You and me both, brutha. I have a pretty rank sense of humor, and a potty mouth to match. It's a constant struggle to keep my own posts out of the gutter.

That's a really impressive bucket, Chris. It's amazing how much detail and clarity comes through in such a thick material. Nice job!

Those are awesome, John! Man-- again and again, I'm stupefied with the ingenuity of the people on this board... Can't you guys all get together and build a car that runs on banana peels, or something?

My boss took the whole company to see GWAR in concert a few months ago here in Denver. It was hilarious! Those guys are CRAZY! SO much fake blood! You gotta' love a band with a gigantic Tyrannosaurus Rex, spewing fake blood from it's newly severed head. Definitely one of the most unique concert-going experiences I've ever had.

I cannot believe no one has said anything about the fact that Paul's son is named LUKE! C'mon, people! Not one "power convertor" joke?!?!?!? I keed. I keed.

Paul, as I said before-- When I was a little kid, I would have sold my own mother to pirates to get my little mitts on this suit. That's the BEST! What a cool Dad you are!

I agree that the mini-trooper is cool.... but seriously, that's NOTHING. Ask TrooperMaster (Paul) to show you the suit he put together for his son. Everyone here is familiar with how brilliant Paul's work is-- and if you're not, do yourself a favor and look into the TM armor; it's amazing. So, picture all the good stuff about Paul's craftsmanship... at 1/4 scale. He was nice enough to show me some pictures a while back, and it's just ridiculously cute and cool. And his kid is AWESOME -- he does all the classic trooper poses and NAILS them. He's a total natural! I would have gladly sold my family into slavery for a suit like that when I was a kid. Paul-- share with the group?

I'm totally in, T! That would be awesome! And if any of us are considering going TD, I have the perfect weathering solution. It only takes about an hour... All we need is an ATV and a pineapple farm!