I've officially taken the first step toward being a new trooper!
BEHOLD! (I am very proud of myself for this tiny step.)
Sanding the teeth took a little getting used to, but once I got in the groove of it, it was quite fun! I used a sand head attachment on a dremel tool and took it to the backside of the teeth. I found that I had to sand down one side because it'd be uneven after using the dremel. If I was a bit better with the dremel, this might have taken me much less time. Still, I'm very happy with the results.